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@loserlexxx Latest Posts

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  • i swear i’m naked but this one is about the hair

  • i’m supposed to post a book review today because it’s tuesday but i’m tired. catch the book reviews next week. here’s me down by the river

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  • The Adolescent by DostoevskyĀ Dostoevsky I will never forgive you for writing C&P in the third person. Did you guys know that his original plan was to write it in first person? After reading this and witnessing how amazing he is at letting you inside the narrator's mind, I’m more upset than ever that C&P was not written with a first person narrative. Dostoevsky did a phenomenal job at writing this as if it was really the work of an adolescent. The style never lets you forget who is telling the story. It must have been such a challenge for him to write in such a juvenile fashion when he usually wrote so purposefully and beautifully.Ā  Poor Liza :( but even more so, poor Sonya. There’s this flashback scene where the MC recalls treating his mother badly; I kept flashing back to it myself throughout the rest of the story, especially when finding out the ways in which her husband mistreated her. That scene broke my heart; it’s all too relatable to most of us, remembering ways we’ve treated our mothers unfairly. I’m tearing up now just thinking about how tender that whole plot point is. This says so much about the multifacetedness of man, about being wrong, about growing up, about the inherent immaturity of nihilism, and so many other themes that hit especially hard for me in this stage of my life. Many scenes held an uncomfortable mirror up to my face. The last major Dostoevsky novel I read was Demons, and it was paced so slowly. This one felt like an action packed thriller in comparison. The whole thing takes place over a very short time frame, and the ending is so violent and intense I had to physically sit up to finish it. You can say a lot about this book, but you can’t say it’s not interesting. 8.8/10

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  • jk guys i’m not in the bath like i posted earlier. i had that queued up bc im actually busy in dc with the cool kids trying to advocate for funding for tb. i have a break rn tho so here’s a live birthday pic of me in my god awful hotel. got to meet john green on my bday tho ;) pretty cool. (understatement)

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  • a reliable wife by robertare we sure william kent krueger didn’t write this? i hated it. i wanted to like it, i really did. i found the beginning very beautifully written, on a technical level at least, but then he got lazy with it, and even that was gone. this whole thing could have been done in 7 pages. i could break down bit by bit why i didn’t like this, but i don’t think my criticism will be any different than my reviews of the krueger novels. it felt like a 15 year old boy asked a genie to grant him the wish of being a good writer, but the trick is he’s 15, so even though he can write lyrically, he still has nothing to say, because he lacks the life experience to have anything of substance to convey. there’s definitely a theme about desire here, but ,,, nothing else, and even the desire talk is so boring and repetitive. i was promised ā€œtwists and turnsā€ by the book jacket, but everything that was to happen was obvious in the first 50 pages. i gotta stop reading books my friends recommend to me !!! i gotta go back to the classics !! these contemporary shit storms will be the death of my love for reading. 4/10

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  • having fun in seattle. this one i do more silly talk than dirty talk, but there’s still a good bit of dirty talk too ;)

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  • someone kindly informed me that my review was not attached to my last post. my bad! i edited the post and now it should be there. thank you to those that told me

  • on the road with janis joplinscroll for my review

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  • scroll for my review

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  • wish you were here ,,, like right here,,, like in between my legs here

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  • A Hologram for the King by Dave EggersClever commentary on contemporary capitalism. A story of a business man who sews the seeds of his own destruction. I found Egger’s writing to be significantly more repetitive in this novel compared to What Is the What, the only other novel of his I’ve read. Repetitive in the Sarah J. Mass sense, where he would get obsessed with certain phrases and use them throughout the book to an annoying extent. Everyone's faces were always ā€œtwisting into (a frown, a smile, a face that looks like …)ā€ Then, he would also rephrase things and repeat them to try to put emphasis on them, and I didn’t like that either. ā€œCharlie Fallon froze to death in the lake near Alan’s house. The lake next to Alan's house.ā€ I get that the repetition has a purpose, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I can acknowledge the reasoning behind something and still disagree with it. It made me feel like I was having a stroke and made me have to stop and reread often.Ā Overall I think this was very well done and can see myself rereading it again in the future. I’ve always hated when people say ā€œIf you don’t like it, leaveā€ in response to someone making criticisms of their country. There is a scene that deals with that idea in dialogue.Ā -So leave-I could leave-Then leave-But it would be better to stay here, and have things be different.Ā If you’re pissed off about credit scores and the outsourcing of labor,,, this ones for you.7.7/10

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  • i want to be jodi when i grow up. i love that her books always teach me about things i already thought i knew a lot about, like egyptology and quantum physics. i think she might also be the most emotionally intelligent person in the world. i’ll be honest though, i had to put this one down for a couple weeks after getting a third of the way in. i kept having existential crises about weighing my heart against a feather (reminiscent of the scrupulosity episodes i had in fifth grade) and about multiverse theory. (reminiscent of my highschool psychedelic induced psychosis) eventually i got to the headspace where i could pick it back up again, and it ripped me apart, but im always happy to have jodi tear me into tiny pieces and then rearrange me anew.Ā i, as well as many other jodi readers, have often made the criticism ā€œshe doesn’t know how to write women, she just writes ~woman~ā€ i could feel her trying to break out of her usual mc mold with this one, but it just wasn’t enough. it seems like she was just like every other picoult mc, but this time she’s got a dead mom who was superstitious and irish. the only thing truly unique about jodi’s female protagonists are their occupations, in this case dawn is a death doula, which gives way to many musings about morality and mortality.Ā i had a really hard time relating to her or even empathizing with her. we see her act so childishly and selfishly, even though we’re told that before this she was always putting everyone else first. we never see this version of her, though. we only see her act in really strange terrible ways and then say ā€œokay i know i fucked up, but so what? i’ve been putting myself last my entire life; it’s time i did something selfishā€ it really reminded me of someone with npd, even though im pretty sure that is not what jodi was going for at all, i think she just forgot to show instead of tell, and that made the mc seem unreliable.Ā i just can’t relate to dawns decisions either. i don’t get why she’s so in love with this guy, enough to essentially ruin her entire family. he’s blonde, british, and a complete asshole. well, we’re told the asshole part is ā€œjust an act to protect himselfā€ and then we’re supposed to empathize with him, or at least that’s what makes her fall in love with him. if you’re an asshole, even as a ~facade~ you’re still an asshole. kurt vonnegut taught me in mothernight that we are who we pretend to be, and wyatt whatshislastname, you are a dickhead, whether it’s ā€œphonyā€ or not. and even if you weren’t a dickhead,,, you’re british,,, irredeemable.Ā Ā i’m pretty sure, based on the authors note, that jodi’s original plan was to have her stick with her husband, but her editor made her change it. i’m really upset about that. jodi is usually so good at making me empathize with characters and understand their decision making, even when i don’t agree with it, and this one just didn’t do that. i still don’t understand why she doesn’t love her husband. he seems really great. i think she should have been a better to her daughter, who also seems really great.Ā i will say that i was so engrossed in the story that the plot twist totally caught me by surprise, even though it was right there in front of me the entire time. i won’t spoil that for you, i think this one is really worth reading yourself.i never skim when i read. thoreau wrote that books should be read as deliberately as they are written, and i’ve always taken that very seriously. my one exception is sex scenes, at least the gratuitous ones. however, the sex scenes in this book were some of my favorites of all time. i think this was even my first time dog earing one. i fell in love with the line ā€œwhen he swells inside me, when neither of us blinks, i wonder if this is what it's like for the moon when she pulls the tide, and changes the shape of the world.ā€ i dog eared many pages with beautiful lines like ā€œlove isn't a perfect match, but an imperfect one. you are rocks in a tumbler; at first you bump, you scrape, you smack. But each time that happens, you smooth each other's edges until you wear each other down, and if you are lucky, at the end of all of that, you fit.ā€ my favorite part about jodi picoult's books is that even on the rare occasion there is a ā€œhappy ending,ā€ it’s always still messy as hell. she describes this perfectly when she has dawn think ā€œi realize getting what you want isn’t instant gratification. it's a slow pulling apart, a realignment of bones and sinew. there are aches involved. there is bruising.ā€ this would be a 10 for me if the characters or ending were written differently. the writing itself was an absolute 10. 8.5/10 overall though. jodi piccoult’s editor, apologize to us all right now!Ā 

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