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Hello!! About me..... I'm an artsy, good-natured weirdo, who likes to sing silly songs and hates wearing clothes ;p When I do dress up I love to do cartoon and videogame cosplay, which I make myself because I'm just a little bit crazy (the good kind). I love dancing, arts and crafts, and just being a sweetheart. I do my best to be sexy, but I'm often told that my attempts at pillow talk sound more like I'm an old-timey character in a movie. I used to model for Playboy and was on the Howard Stern Show a few times, and (even though it was a bit overwhelming for a shy girl like me) I absolutely loved it all! Sadly, I dated some not-so-great guys along the way, who wanted to keep my nakedness to themselves. ANYWAY, after a recent and very rough breakup, I'm free again, and am so eager to share my nerdy silliness with you!! Wanna come along for the ride?


@thehaydnporter Latest Posts

  • It’s official!! Doing a stream this Friday at 6pm-ish. But what am I going to wear?? I didn’t expect to be in Tulsa this long, and I don’t have my usual sexy outfits or equipment! Pretty please lend a helping hand, so we can make sure this stream is a great one 🤤 As thanks for your help, I’ll send you something brand new and extra filthy to your inbox. The bigger the tip, the more turned on I’ll get when making your surprise… [Will be new photos, video, and/or audio, depending on your willingness to help a lady in need 💕]

  • Should I stream this Friday??Pretty please leave a ❤️ so we can spread the word! I have so much more fun when we can get a good group together :)

  • Do you prefer your Leia a little more meek and shy? Perhaps a little angry with the whole Jabba experience? Look no further.Fully nude with pussy spreading!If you’re interested in the video as well, or prefer your Leia to be a more eager participant, click below to get the photo/video bundle!!https://onlyfans.com/1694667147/thehaydnporter[Please remember to leave a ❤️ after unlocking. You’re my only hope.]

  • Ugh I’m too fucking horny rn. Tip me $20 so I can make you a sexy audio message, and we can both bust that easy one 💦

  • WOOOOO!!! Saturday Night Fap Fest is back!!! Tune in at 7pm CDT for a fappin’ knee slappin’ good time!Also check your DMs for updates, because you know how I am. Pretty please ❤️ this to spread the word, because nobody likes a lonely girl 😢

  • These flowers are lookin’ a little O’Keeffey…

  • URGENT! What hair color should I go for? I’m bored and I need your help! 🙏 Please don’t go based off of the cut/bangs. I used an app to generate the colors, so the bangs are a lil funny looking 😅My appointment is on Wednesday, so speak now or forever hold your penis!

  • Probably gonna be around for a lil playtime later tonight. You know how to get my attention ;)

  • QUICK!! Which Leia energy is hotter to you for a video/photoset? I’m doing a shoot tomorrow, and I need your help!Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.

  • Just giving my taters a lil bit of much needed sunshine ;)

  • Free stream tonight!!! Saturday Night Fap Fest™️ is back!!! Tonight at 6:30ish CDT. Maybe 7. Check your DMs for updates!!Also come see my new place! It’s my first time living alone, and so far it’s been wonnnderful!! 🥰

  • We’re on a date at a nice restaurant, and I desperately need to feel your lips and tongue on me now. Pretty please make me cum under the table?? I’m so scared our server will catch us, but I want you so bad I almost wouldn’t mind…Swipe for free preview pics and videos. You can hear the wetness… 💦 ⭐️ Over 10 minutes long⭐️ 35 explicit pics⭐️ Leg-shaking orgasm ⭐️ Horny fucking ginger, what more could you want?[Pretty please remember to leave a ❤️ after unlocking! It means the world to me 🥰]

  • In my new place!!! Should we do a stream Saturday night to celebrate? We’d probably start a bit earlier, (maybe 6ish?) as I don’t have any rugs or soundproofing setup, and I’m petrified of annoying my neighbors. Pretty please vote and leave a ❤️, so we can spread the good word of Haydn!!

  • Sniffin’ out adventure… [Bonus points if you get this reference] 🐾

  • Getting up bright and early today, stillllll moving. Wish me luck!! 💕

  • Stilllll moving! I’m messy and icky rn (literally just managed to pour dirt all over myself), so enjoy a pic from when I was slightly less gross.

  • Taken 2 seconds before a stranger opened the door, because I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to use locks.

  • Went wild fingering myself during my show last night 🤭 iykyk…

  • FREE STREAM TONIGHT!! Tune in around 8:30pm CDT (maybe 9) for a classic Saturday Night Fap Fest™️. Check your DMs for updates! There will be boobies and butts and snizz galore!!!

  • Should I stream Saturday night?? Leave a ❤️ if you wanna see alllllllll of me tomorrow… 😛

  • More apartment hunting today! Wish me luuuuuck!!

  • 🤫 Shhhh… don’t wake my roommate! Longest, steamiest video yet. From catching your eye at the concert, to losing my inhibitions and sneaking you into my room, the chemistry is too intense to overlook… 🫦 Swipe for 2 free preview videos! The second is so wet you can hear it… 💦 Multiple angles, closeups, teasing, undressing, and all the passionate, intimate moments you've been craving. This one's full of desire, flirtation, and a quivering toe-curling climax. Get ready for the most satisfying, intense experience…- 27 minutes long- Pussy spreading- Front and back views- Soooo many angles- Orgasms- VERY real and girlfriendy[Please be kind! Leave a ❤️ behind]

  • I miiiiight have shot a long and rambling masturbation video after the concert… Like this pic if I should I release it in time for payday 😈

  • Fancy a sneaky peeky?

  • Oh godddddd the moving hell is unending. Here is a photo from a simpler time, where I wasn’t balls deep in boxes and despair.

  • I honestly just wanna be cozy at home tonight. Wanna snug and watch documentaries with me? 🥺

  • Wanna fool around tonight? Tip me $20 to get started with some very enthusiastic one-on-one time. I’m sweaty and horny AF, and after all this hard work I could really use a good ‘gasm to unwind… 😈

  • Looking for clues… and maybe a little something more.

  • Woke up in good spirits today :) My titties are catching the light perfectly ✨ And the little pussy peek ain’t bad either…

  • Telling filthy secrets with my IRL friend @taylorwould …. [Tbh she and I have some major unspoken sexual chemistry, and I swear to god it’s only a matter of time before we act on it…]Also don’t forget to follow her too, so you can hear the see the other half of the live on her page as well. Also because she’s hot and sweet 💕

  • Free stream tonight! Join me at 8pm CDT for Saturday Night Fap Fest™️! This will be my last show for a little while, as I’m about to be balllllz deep into moving. Until then, I want you to imagine being balls deep in me…

  • DOUBLE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!! 1.) Today is Pi Day, and as such, I’ve marked down my ever popular Snow White set. For the next week, you can get it for 50% off! ⬇️https://onlyfans.com/977495754/thehaydnporter2.) TOMORROW night marks the return of Saturday Night Fap Fest™️!!! It’s probably going to be my last show in Austin, so pretty please join me to celebrate. By wanking, that’s how we celebrate things around here 👊 💦

  • Horny AF now, probably gonna be horny AF later. Tip me $20 to schedule some one on one playtime… 🫦 [Please ignore the mess behind me… still moving 😅]

  • Like this post if you want me to stream this Saturday…

  • 2 girls, 1-up. Happy Mario Day!! Check your DMs for a special Mario Day treat ;)

  • Getting cheeky with my IRL friend, @taylorwould this Saturday at 8pm-ish. We’ll be going live on both of our pages, so be sure to follow each of us so you don’t miss out.

  • I never do this, but I snapped these pics and they’re too hot to keep to myself. No filters, no makeup, no nuthin’. Just me fully naked, enjoying myself in the mirror 😈

  • Tell me to be a good girl and to get on the road already!! Making my trek back to Austin, and I just wanna stay in bedddd…

  • Freshly showered and HORNY AF. DM me so we can lend each other a helping hand…[Seriously. I know a lot of creators have management or use chatters, or fake everything about themselves. I don’t. And right now, I am desperately fucking horny. Let’s bust together.]

  • I think this is what’s commonly known as “sweater meat”.

  • You know me, I can’t handle ✨normal✨ for toooooo long…

  • A lil sweet treat to start off your day ;)

  • Supposed to be shooting and prepping for tonight’s free stream, but I literally cannot stop masturbating. One thing’s for sure, it’s gonna be a hell of a show 🔥 Showtime starts around 8:30ish CST. Maybe closer to 9, if I keep flicking the bean lol.

  • Get your tissues ready, because Saturday night fap fest is BACK!!! The festivities start around 8pm CST. Don’t. Miss. Out.

  • What do you say? Should we do a stream this Saturday night?[Don’t just vote, leave a ❤️ too! Otherwise, this post won’t get pushed out, and then we won’t have enough votes for a show]

  • Trying to stay warm in the bitter cold. Wish me luck!!

  • Morning girlfriend energy! check your DMs for a surprise… 💕🥰☀️

  • All snowed in, with only the internet to keep me company…

  • Stephanie is all grown up, and begging you to eat a pretty cake… Let’s crank things up, and turn LazyTown into CrazyTown 🤤Swipe for a nude preview…💕 Fully nude💕 24 high quality pics💕 9 minute long video 💕 It’s LazyTown, ffs. What are you waiting for?[Pretty please be sweet and leave a ❤️ after unlocking!! It means the world to me 🥰]

  • “It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake!” Can you tell who I’m dressed as? Check back later today for the full photoset and video…



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