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Love Cup

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I'd love to show you a high quality photo of this review, because then
you'd know how ridiculous this toy truly is. But sadly, even the
manufacturer (Doc Johnson) doesn't want this toy on their website. And
probably with good reason. Read on for why the Love Cup is all forms of
wrong.

The packaging is supposed to be reminiscent of something from the 70s.
With flowers in the O & E in the word Love. Here is what Doc
Johnson has to say about this specimen: "The petal-like shape of the
Love Cup is designed to stimulate the clitoris and vaginal lips
simultaneously. Its multi-seed controller delivers fine tuned
vibration, while its soft, jellied petals hug her in all the right
places. Cup her in bed tonight... with the Love Cup, only from Doc
Johnson."

I've had a hard time writing this review, because I can usually find a
perk to most toys. The Love Cup is not one of those toys. Upon removing
this from the package, I was nearly knocked over, my eyes started
watering, the PVC smell quickly filled my living room. I stuck this
thing outside in hopes it'd air our a bit. It's a waterproof toy, so I
washed it multiple times with multiple cleaners. The smell did reduce a
bit, but because I was rightfully concerned that this contained
phthalates, I put a condom on it for testing purposes.

I loaded the 2-AA batteries (not included) and slowly turned up the
vibration. It mostly turned up, but sometimes would turn off and then
start back up again. So much for fine tuned. I put the flower around my
vagina, and the light vibration was okay, but nothing to get excited
about. The pistal of the flower is supposed to stimulate the clitoris.
1. It feels like it is violently attacking my clit and trying to stab
through it. And 2. There is zero vibration transferred from the bullet
embedded in the shaft to the pistal. This all adds up to zero clitoral
stimulation, which is kind of the point of this toy.

I own quite a few toys. I own enough toys to consider myself
knowledgeable. And to be quite honest, this is the worst toy I've ever
came across. It's pointless. It provides no pleasure, it smells to high
heaven, and most likely contains a host of chemicals that will not ever
be coming in contact with my vagina. If there were a lower rating than Skip It, this toy would truly be deserving of it.


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